Momma T (Pam’s mum Tina for the uninitiated) has landed. She
arrived at Blantyre airport into the blazing sunshine and in good old African
style she was an hour late – not her fault, someone got off at Lilongwe and
couldn’t find their luggage.
She settled into Mtisidi for all of two nights before we
packed up an f…left. J
(Kids might be reading.)
That was Friday. Previously in the week I had gone to rugby
and doogles – much more civilised than last week owing to it not being my
birthday.
Ooohh it was like a second Christmas again, Tina came with
presents for me and pam and I got all my birthday cards that had been sent.
They are all securely nestled on the book shelf – another slice of home.
Sunday was our travelling day and so we introduced Momma T
to the Malawi road system. Dead dogs, crazy overtaking, random manoeuvres and
that was all just me!
We arrived in Nkotakota, which is a very relaxing beach
resort. The only issue was the amount of ants. With it being rainy season all
the ants decided that the outdoor life is only for the hot sunny days and they
move inside with their little knapsacks and knotted handkerchiefs over their
shoulders. There were thousands of them. Today we had the joy of watching Pam
shake them out of her hair!
Nkotakota was very relaxing, we drank and ate and sat on the
beach and read. But we did have adventure! Oh yes.
We gleaned the guide book for things to do and lo and behold
something spoke to us, something called out that said ‘You have to do this’ and
that was to go to the restaurant down the beach. We could have driven but that
would be 10 kilometers along roads that are not roads in anyone’s dictionary
except a Malawians, and they make up most of their words so I strongly suspect
that they don’t have dictionaries. Where was I? Yes 10 kilometres or 5 minute
walk. 5 minute walk right? Now the thing was that I had checked out the route
in the daylight. It was 2 minutes along the sand, 1 minute of negotiating rocks
and stepping over a small inlet stream thing, then another 2 minutes of walking
along the beach.
The two things I had not considered, well actually three
things I had not considered. One, it was dark when we attempted it the second
time, two I am a man – now this is not to be sexiest but purlease we are so
much better at getting to the pub in the dark than women – and three that the
women in question where Pam and Momma T.
The first two minutes were fine.
The rocks were okay.
The stepping over the inlet….well I leapt gazelle like –
graceful, far and perfect. Pam took her flip flops off and waded in a skirt.
Momma T valiantly stepped across, made it but accidently flung her flip flops
aside to lessen the load and guarantee landing. I stepped up, sacrificed the
dryness of one trainer and got the first back but alas the second was taken by
the raging torrent of water. There was a cry in the dark that was something
along the lines of ‘ you bloody idiot why did you bring us this way,’ and ‘my
flip flop’. I couldn’t tell you who said what but I have my suspicions. I saw
and opportunity with a length of bamboo style stick in the water and said
calmly and cooly – ‘Pam throw me that stick, no that one, the one at your feet,
no the other one! What are you doing! That was a rubbish throw!!! Arrgghhh you’re
useless.’
Pam’s response was something along the lines of ‘I’m sorry
darling, I am trying my hardest but the thing us I can’t see as it’s dark, the
wood is wet and therefore breaking in my hand and, despite it being my fault I
throw like a girl’ at least that’s what I heard – like I said maybe children
are reading.
Eventually Lake Malawi decided it had had enough fun and
brought the thing close enough for us to snatch it and we did and then
continued on our way to drink copious amounts of alcohol.
Pam surrounded by small children by the trees - they are mentioned below but it has taken me so long to get this photo on it's staying here!
Yes the two women survived with their flip flops intact. I
on the other hand did not. Earlier in the day I had gone for a paddle in the
lake. I left my flip flops by the side. Either lake Malawi or some light
fingered local took a fancy to them -
either way I left Nkotakota without my faithful companions.
view of our two cottages from the beach
Chiyembekezo (the car) has had some running repairs as well. Sometime
previously the exhaust bracket had failed and that resulted in us grounding out
a few times on the road to Nkotakota (really awkward have to write that each
time!) especially on the dirt road in. But in my time here I have picked up a
few things, mostly that if it’s a car part it’s not really broke until it
doesn’t resemble a car part. So next time your exhaust gives a little rattle
don’t go to Kwik Fit, oh no no, go to your wardrobe and select the sturdiest
looking wire coat hanger you have – badda bing! And remember you heard it here
first!
Pretty moonrise
Pam found the manual shutter speed button
With exhaust firmly attached we left NKK ( see what I did
there) and went to visit a tree. Two trees in fact. One Kamuzu Banda sat under
in 1960 to tell the Malawian population that he was going to wrestle power from
Colonial Britain and sit in office for 30 odd years running Malawi as he saw
fit, and the other was Dr Livingstone (I presume!) and some salve trader called
Jumbe. Their conversation went along the lines of;
Livingstone: Please give up the slave trade.
Jumbe: No.
Livingstone: Do you know who I am?
Jumbe: Dr Livingstone I presume.
Livingstone: Hmm I seem to get that a lot. Yes. Pretty
please give it up.
Jumbe: Hmm no.
Or something like that.
Anyway they are important trees in the history of Malawian, and a very
efficient way of poor villagers to make money seeing as they have conveniently
built their village in such a way that if you didn’t know the exact location of
the trees you would end up in the lake. Even Livingstone would get lost, well I
presume so at any rate.
Box for trees ticked we proceeded along the picturesque
route to Nkata Bay (NB for ease) where we are currently sitting with alcohol
awaiting our curry buffet dinner. But as it is Wednesday already I will regale
you with the delights of NB in the next blog. Can’t have you having too much
fun now can we.
STATMAN
Time taken to upload this blog – 3 frickin days
Number of harry potter themed lodges – 7 (four houses, Hedwig,
crookshanks and prongs)
Our cottage
Amount of coffee drank at NKK – 4 rounds of 3
Number of games of beans – 9
Number of games of beans before Momma T got it – 5 (she has
won since then)
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