Our house......

Apologies to those that read the blog on a tuesday night had a bit of an internet break down nightmare. But it is here now and as they say - better late than never, or all good things come to those who wait, or the watched kettle..........here it is!

I am currently sitting at my desk contemplating what to write for this week. It happens each week. The good reports are usually those that are written on a Monday night and checked on a Tuesday morning before uploading. That coupled with a busy week of different activities and experiences allowing me the scope and opportunity to talk about different aspects of our life here.

This week has been somewhat ‘normal’ in comparison. I returned to work from our holiday on Tuesday and was told of all the things that had gone wrong since I had been away. Tuesday night we took Mum and Dad for a last meal in Blantyre at a little Italian that we know and love. It was a nice meal. Then with little drama I took them to the airport on Wednesday where they boarded a plane to South Africa and I returned to work to try and regain a semblance of what was going on. We are currently making medium progress on the canopy structure. As I write this on Tuesday afternoon all the base plates are modified and are fixed down and the second of the frames is being tacked into position.

Thursday – apologies I am jumping around at the moment but hey it should keep you interested – was a bank holiday so I sat by the pool most of the day. Pam – owing to the fact that germs and diseases don’t take holidays had to work.

Rugby was rugby, and Friday was a quiet affair of reading and writing. I did no arithmetic.

The highlight of the week was Saturday. The college of medicine had their final year ball and so all of Pam’s med students had a big dinner to go to. We were invited as well. Now one thing you have to know about Malawi is the dress sense. They always look exceptionally smart. Most of you will know that I am not really one for the iron, but out here, wow do I feel scruffy. Coupled with the fact that I didn’t have enough space for a suit my standard ‘dresswear’ is my beige work trousers, a shirt and tie. I have to wear CAT boots as I don’t have black shoes.

Saturday morning Pam need shoes (naturally) and I decided to try and pick up a suit or at least a jacket. We started at the Café for breakfast, needing to prepare properly, then hit the market. Nothing but womens jackets.

Liking the smart casual look?

 Next we stop off at a second hand clothes store where I did find a blue blazer with gold buttons. Hello Sailor! It meant I would look like I had stepped off my boat. But we had a back up now should everything fail. 

Ahoy there - the one that was selected as champion

Stop three was some poor bloke on the street with a suit ‘stall’. The “” are due to his stall being a tarpaulin on the floor. But I tried on every suit the bugger had. Some jackets fitted, some didn’t. One very nice Calvin Klein suit was sublime but it turns out there are two types of suit wearing Malawians – short and fat, and short and super skinny! None fitted.

Number 24 - the face says it all.

Next was a proper suit shop where I found possible the most amazing suit I have ever seen. It would not have looked out of place on Lenny Henry during a Comic Relief night. Imagine a silvery white suit with thick gold lines running up and down. And it fitted perfect. I deliberated long and hard over it but I couldn’t do it. The only place I could have worn it would be rugby, mostly because you would stand out completely, which means weddings are out, funerals are out. And I was quite glad I didn’t wear it to the ball. It was a very straight laced and glamorous affair with all the students in black tie. Sadly I am gutted I don't have a picture of me trying it on! The women were unbelievably glammed up, and I went looking like a sailor – although I did change the buttons from gold to navy and I left the hat at home.

Some students performed a dance during the celebrations

Sunday was spent lying around relaxing and Monday was spent writing.

But I feel like I have short changed you. There isn’t enough chutzpah in this. I was looking back over the last accounts as well and I don’t think we have every shown you the inside of the house. So for the remainder of this entry I shall take you on a tour of our house.

We use the back door,  just off the khonde where you enter the first (and only) reception room.

Frangipani Tree House

 A bright and spacious area which is a multipurpose space of lounge, dining room, study, library, and recreational area. It has lovely concrete floors, which are wonderful when you spill stuff on them but can have there drawbacks when the reason you spilt said something is because you dropped your glass. It came complete with furnishings although we did nick the sofa from next door when they left. The pictures are mostly ours except for the big square cloth ones.

We then have a small square hall of nothingness that everything comes off. 

Check out the world map with the giant red arrow!

Kitchen is a big square open space with fridge, sink, loads of cupboards, and the worlds slowest cooker/hob.

If you have sent us anything, chances are it's on the wall of home.

Next to the kitchen is the shower room, which is more like a wet room with a drain in one end.

Erm what can one say about a shower.

The toilet is a toilet. Not really much more to be said about that.

The spare room is a dumping ground/storage room/ laundry space.

This room is a bit pants to be honest. (Groan)

And finally there is the master bedroom. Complete with wardrobe style facilities, chest of drawers. The box net was brought by us and has made sleeping under a net so much more bearable.

Complete with glossy blanket!

And that concludes the tour of the house. Additional features include geckos, cockroaches, mosquitoes, the occasional bat, spiders – mostly skater spiders ( a made up term for the flat ones that disappear down the skirting) and an army of ants that we are continually involved in a guerilla war with in the kitchen.

One of the demonstrations – I may add as an addendum to this week’s post – is to show you what happens if we leave food out.

STATMAN

Cost of the gold suit – 20,000 MK – 30 pounds

Cost of my sailor jacket – 1,500 MK – 2 pounds

Number of suits tried on – 10

Cost of the really nice Pierre Cardin Mole Skin Jacket I found – 60,000 MK (didn’t buy that one either)

Number of drunken disgraced students at the end of the dinner – 0 (like that would happen in the UK)

Number of cockroaches removed from house so far – 4

Number of bats removed – 1

Number of ants drunk in cups of tea because for some reason they really like sneaking into the kettle – none that we know of but I suspect more than a few!