Mozambique

I remember when I first heard about Mozambique – not that the country existed I think that was a given, but the beauty of it. It was a friend of mine and we were discussing Southern Africa and I think it was around the time I was either going to or just come back from Tanzania. Gillian, for that was her name, said that if I ever went anywhere I had to go to Mozambique. It stayed with me and when Pam told me she had got the position in Malawi one of my first thoughts, along with Oh Crap Africa for a whole year, was we have to go to Mozambique. 

And boy was it worth it.

After the palaver of the visas we were up at the crack of dawn, actually before it, and left at 5 o’clock on Tuesday morning. A little nervous of what to expect at the border it was actually easier than the Zambia crossing. Export license from Malawi then all you need when you get to Mozambique is insurance. By 8.30 we were in and off on our way. 

Surprisingly easy. We trundled along and found the road we were looking for. Roads out here not being what they are back there and this was one of the secondary roads, ie what you would consider an A road in UK. It was essentially a dirt track. And you know when you have been in Africa too long when you see a road like this and say – wow this one’s not bad. That means you don’t need 4x4 and you can get two vehicles, two bikes, two pedestrians and a chicken all across the breadth of it. 

This was a good stretch.

After 120 kms though it does get a little tiring and you’ve given up counting your fillings. That and with the heat and the windows open everything in the car has that fine covering of red dust on it – especially the back of your throat. 

Blessed tarmac met us and we crept up speed hoping to eat the kilometres. We were stopped short by our first policeman. Now we had been warned before we arrived that the police are notorious for inventing fines, lying about speeds, generally trying to get as much money out of you as possible. I slowed down to a halt with a nervousness and defensive air ready to argue my corner.

He asked for our papers. We showed our passports, driving license, import license and insurance.

Thank you very much, have a nice day.

What? Who? Where are the nasty policemen who want all our money? I didn’t wait and proceeded on our way.

I feel I should also point out that the conversation was not actually quite like that, I was translating for you the reader to aid the flow of the story. The real conversation went something like this. 

Bom dia, costa la praga de nero pacino documentarasa que ce fort da Ibiza.

I terrible sorry I don’t speak a word of Portuguese. Do you speak English?

Guetta da giuido luigi amario documenterarassa por favour senor.

Urm, would you like to see my documents? (thrust every piece of paper we have at him).

Terra firma favere te fyi gertu mana pao le fido.

Eh?

He then handed back our papers gave us a smile and waved us away. Lovely chap.

Next hurdle was petrol and money. Due to our careful planning and sensible nature we have an upgraded HSBC account with a visa card allowing us to take money out anywhere in the world. 

Works in Malawi, worked in Zambia, would it work in Mozambique or would this be the shortest holiday in the history with us turning round and driving back.

No! They're good them Chinese I tell you. Boom next hurdles down. Money out at the cash point, tank filled up and we were back on our way. 

Then we get lost.

Then we were back on our way.

Lost again.

Away again.

To cut a long journey short – and wow was it a long journey, we got lost in the two towns we had to drive through, not massively but a little. What was actually the biggest killer was how far we had to drive, we had underestimated how much the little bits add up like getting lost, petrol, food stops, border crossings and before we knew it it was dark and we were still driving. But it was kinda fun, road trip style, the iPod kicking out tunes. And eventually through being talked in by the manager we found our first hotel. I’d live to tell you how we sat in the bar and relaxed with a hard earned beer and had a moonlight stroll on the beach but I laid on the bed and according to Pam was asleep in about 30 seconds. 

Our house with a Pam in the hammock.

Beach selfie.

But not to worry because this is what I woke up to! White sands, blue sea, very hot sun. It was delicious. And what did we do. Nothing. Let me clarify nothing. We read out books. We laid on the beach. We laid in a hammock, on our veranda. We ate. We drank. And I swam in the sea. That was it. And it was great! Oh we also found some shells. And the sea was actually warmer that the swimming pool at Mitsidi. Bliss.

Just like Daniel Craig!

The only problem with our beach side house was the time there. It was way too short and after a couple of days we had to move on the Island of Mozambique, or as the locals call it Ilha de Mocambique. 

Cobbled streets

Archways

A little bit of spiel about it. The whole island is a UNESCO world heritage site. As with the rest of Mozambique it was under Portuguese reign until I think 1960 something. It was the capital until 1898 when it was moved to Maputo. It is reached by a 3.5km road bridge and has influences from the Portuguese, the Africans and the Arabs who used it during the slave trade. 

lots of gardens

The Hospital

Random facade

I imagine when it was in its heyday it was a sight to behold. Don’t get me wrong it still is and as it is only 600m wide and 2.5 km long you can easily walk it in a day. But a lot of it is falling apart. It gives it a rustic appeal. We spent our days walking around simply staring at buildings and monuments and ornaments. The two main sites are the Fort of Sao Sebastiao that is the largest standing fort in sub Saharan Africa and even more impressive the Chapel of Nossa Senhora de Baluarte that is there. It was built in 1522 and is the oldest European building in sub-saharan Africa. And seeing the way Africans build buildings I wouldn’t be surprised if it was the oldest building although there may be some Arab buildings older.

Inside the Fort

It still has the original cannons

The fort was used for slave trading and on our way round the guide told us how they brought they there, sorted them out, killed them if they didn’t like them then shipped them on. 

Chapel of Nossa Senhora de Baluarte

The other building of note (apart from all the others that are amazing!) is another Church - Miscericordia and Governor’s residence. All the original furniture is in the building, the beds, the dining set, ornaments, paintings. It is like a stately home only so much more colonial and European. The other thing that is nuts is the two museums attached to this building. Some little Mozambican takes you round and shows you paintings from 1600, silver candle sticks, bronze cups and dishes, gold leaf altars and a silver chest that looked like it was worth a fortune. All of it behind a single door and a little old man with a cloth hat. The history was amazing.

Captured rainwater for drinking

What also is amazing is the sea food! Woo wah wee wah! We were told if you wanted to have lobster then the place to go was De Flora. So first night we thought why not! WOW. I had the lobster and chips. It was sublime, so creamy and meaty and tasty and so freaking much. And every restaurant has a host of fish and seafood dishes. If you like seafood you have to go. You simply have to. Their shrimps our like our prawns, their prawns are like our giant GM king prawns, their king prawns our like are lobsters and their lobsters are like a small family dog!

The roof top terrace for dinner

Muscles and fish and squid and octopus and it is all cooked in rich spicy delicious sauces. MMMmmmMMMM. And, and guess what….it has its own beer… and it’s NOT CARLEBERG!!

Don't mind if I do!

Oh it was so good. 

Our breakfast was taken on the roof top terrace every morning with the Bulgarians and French. Freshly good bread each morning with tea and jam and butter watching the fishing boats come back in. Watching the sun dancing off the brilliant blue sea. It was wonderful. 

Man versus Lobster!

An Epic Battle!

and Man Won!

It was expensive – not vastly so about the same as a European holiday, and we didn’t have long enough – but it was so worth the long drive and the short stay to see and experience one of the most wonderful places on earth ( I sound like Judith Chalmers but it really was that good!)

The journey back was a lot easier as well, for one we knew where we were going, and two we could jump straight onto tarmac (the last 45km to the beach was on sand and dirt and rubbish).

Mozambique done all that was left to do was attend my last assembly in work at Beehive. They had postponed the Construction assembly so it was yesterdays and it was so nice to heat the impact I had made on the place. They when through the projects that I had finished here and presented me with a present and the choir even sang a special song for me. So lovely. 

My pressies - Football shirt, traditional shirt, Bawo board, wine cups and a photo of me and my construction team.

And that is it. We have done all the holidaying, we have both left work. We have one more party to go to and that is tonight which we have invited  all our friends out to a bar for a drink and a farewell and then we are gone. Thursday. Two days away. It is all a bit surreal and it definitely hasn’t sunk in that we are leaving yet. But what more is left to say. I have to try and sum it all up for you guys for a special Thursday post and I’ll be honest I have no idea what to say. Dunno. 

But that people was the Mozambique week that was!

STATMAN

KMs covered – 1500

Hours taken to get there – 16

Hours taken to get back – 12

Size of the lobster – 800g and I finished it all!

Cost of the toll to cross the bridge – 10 Mt (20p)

Number of bits that fell off our car – None. It still going!

Trucks we saw crashed – 9. One was a double one on its side. One was upside down!

Times stopped by policemen – 3. First one asked to see documents. Second just for a chat, third saw we were foreign and just waved us on!

Fines paid – 0

Crazy Americans we gave a lift to – 4. I thought they had broken down forgetting that hitching in Africa is signalled differently. But we squeezed them all in.

Number of meals eaten that did not contain seafood (excluding breakfast) – 1 – not bad out of five days worth of meals.