Weddings and BBQs

29^th October 2013

 

So this week there has been two overriding themes. Firstly Peter’s (my boss) son’s wedding and Pamela leaving.

We will start with the former. We were invited to the wedding, only the evening reception. The actual wedding was supposed to take place at 9.00 in the morning. At 10.40 the service began (my neighbour braved it and went). After about 20 minutes they were told it was likely to last 1 and a half hours so they cut and run.

We arrived at the very exclusive Mount Soche Hotel in Blantyre dressed to impress, promptly at 6.20pm for the sit down meal at 6.30pm. Guess what – we were the first to arrive. So in true British style we absconded to the bar. Slowly people arrived and by 7 we decided to move into the room, decorated in a typical wedding style except for a couple of items. One the giant white sofa up on a stage in the middle of the room and two the table at which were 8 or so people with big red name badges round which stated ‘Cashier’ on them.

Now we had been warned about this. The custom in Malawi is that gifts are give in the form of cash. The method of this given is that you get invited up to dance with the couple and as you do you throw your small denomination notes into the air. The cashiers collect them all up, take the ‘wedding tax’ amount for the government and the rest goes to the couple.

So when the MC invited us all up (at 8.00) for the dance we dutifully got up, followed the conga line that was there and we are ready prepared 20 kwacha notes ( 4pence) we dutifully threw them in the air.

What we had not been warned of is that people dance to different times. So the first one was everyone, an introduction. The next was the different clans. The next friends on the grooms parents. We had to get up at this as we were invited by them and had to throw whatever else we had left.

We had also thought that because we were British we would buy them some champagne. A little something. I then made the mistake of asking my boss when was appropriate for is to give this. Oh he was delighted and told the MC to make a special announcement just for us to present this. So up we jumped again and I handed a big shiny bag to the groom as we all danced around again and yes threw more money.  The cashiers were scooping up handfuls and bowlfuls of cash. I imagine it is a little like Vegas!

I reckon there must have been around 30 different ‘dances’ and the one upmanship of people throwing the most was clearly evident.

Somewhere in the middle of all of this we had a very nice buffet meal and champagne and prayers and speeches.

We decided to leave at midnight even though I was itching to find out the total. If I do I will let you know.

 

And so to Sunday where we had Pamela’s leaving braai (African BBQ). There was food galore and beer, and wine, and sangria. And Pam (my pam) made some awesome cakes, one with Africa painted on, the other with ‘Pamera’ spelt out. For some reason Malawians think Ls and Rs are interchangeable.

She has been presented with a Malawi flag in our assembly. The construction choir (a choir sings every Monday morning) sang ‘Flower of Scotland’ – she Glaswegian – although no one had taught them the additional rugby elements. I didn’t think it appropriate to add them in.

And today we had a farewell lunch and she was presented a massive picture frame with her name (spelt wrong) and the dates of her stay engraved into it.

Personally I will be sad to see her go as she has been a source of previous knowledge for projects, and a good sounding board for frustration in the construction office when dealing with the politics and culture out her.

This evening I am embarking on my first cycle ride with a man named Martin. He used to cycle for Malawi and he cycles 50km each morning for training. We are going mountain biking .....it could be interesting.

 

STATMAN

Styles of money throwing at wedding – at least 10 the most impressive was the bridemaid’s who tried to throw it as fast as possible.

Money raised – don’t know but I reckon it a couple of million – bear in mind most notes were 50s.

Number of guests we had to dance infront of – circa 300.

How bored the happy couple looked by the end – very

Burgers cooked at the bbq – 20

Flies at the bbq – MILLIONS

And finally the current mosquitoes score is

Mosquitoes 7 Christopher 12 (just hanging on although the bite on my knuckle smarts!)