Going, going, gone.

Wow, a lot has happened this week and I am bound to forget something but that’s okay.

I would like to set the record straight that I am not Luke, and I am not five and my dad does not drive me around in his JCB. In fact I can drive myself round.

One of the perks of being the boss is you get to do what you want, and one of the perks of being in Malawi is that health and safety is a nice idea but…..and so on Tuesday I got to drive the JCB. I even did some work in it. Digging up soil and taking it to the workers on the netball court. My apologies to Anton all those years ago not letting you drive one on the UK site, but if you can get yourself over here before August then you are more than welcome!

Me driving a JCB

Me sitting in the JCB with my instructor Jacob!

Work is going well; we are hitting quite a few milestones. Netball seats being finished being one of them. Still having a bit of a nightmare with the solar panel canopy but we have a plan.

The netball steps - we built the retaining wall and all the drainage as well - by hand!

Speaking of nightmares and work lets jump to Thursday. In Malawi you cannot buy concrete. Or if you can there are very limited companies that do it and most of the wagons are used on Government jobs – they have more influence than us. So when we need to make concrete we have to go and buy cement bags from Lafarge. Here is the process that I need to undertake for the purchase (this is for all purchases on site by the way hence why it takes sooooooo long to buy anything).

Sign a requisition for 300 bags (we can only buy 25kg bags)

My stores lady gets a quote from the shop because one over the phone is not accepted if prices change, and they change day to day. This involves her driving into town to speak to all our suppliers and shops.

Once we know the price we have to raise a cheque from the finance department, require head of finance and MD signature.

If it is a large amount the cheque is made straight to the company i.e. Lafarge, otherwise many items are put on the cheque which is then taken to the bank which is then cashed.

Once we have the cheque Lafarge are then notified we are coming, we issue the truck reg number then send the drive the night before to queue up to collect in the morning – cement is that sort after.

Cement, all 300 bags is then delivered to us the next day.

Simples!

So having completed steps 1-4 you can imagine my frustration when the lorry we use has a tear in the tyre – 300 bags at 25kg is a hefty weight and could easily rip the thing apart. Just change it I hear you say – ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. We don’t have a spare tyre that punctured two weeks ago. I spent most of Thursday afternoon ringing round our plant division trying to source another lorry. Eventually we found the low loader was free and with some tarp and rope we could use this. Problem solved I hear you say – ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. They have no diesel. I then have to sign the internal requisition to release 80 litres of diesel which is put in a drum and driven around to the plant hire place to fill the truck to allow him to go to Lafarge so the next day we can have 300 bags.

Efficiency at its best. Unsurprisingly I didn’t have the truck of the energy to go to rugby, which meant I actually got an early night and a lot of work done on Friday. Then came the fateful words – fancy a quick drink after work. Why not I say.

Well one lead to two, two to three – you get the maths. When Pam rang at 10 we were on our last round. When I crept in at 3 she was fast asleep. To be fair I was up at 7.30 the next morning to help with the sticking and pasting of all the things for her charity auction ball that night – it was the two helpers that let me down. One surfaced at 1 the other only in time to go to the event at 7. Which I got the blame for.

And I have to say Pam and the committee – given only two weeks to organise it – pulled it out of the bag! It was a ball to launch the Paediatric and Child Health Association of Malawi. Within two weeks they had organised the hotel, menus, auction prizes, sold over 80 tickets, printed programmes and descriptions of prizes and information leaflets about the association. 

The tables were laid with pictures drawn by hospital children and children from the Beehive Children Centre

They evening was a great success with two personal highlights. 

The first auction for the little prizes was done in an interesting fashion – it was timed and anyone could donate what they liked but whoever has the last bid at the end of the time wins the lot – everyone has to put the money in as well. So I sat behind a drum kit with a list of secret times and when they ran out banged the symbol. It was hilarious, people were desperate to win some items, but it also meant that some of the guest who would not be able to afford the prizes at normal auction rates picked them up for a bargain!

The auction prizes including the bike. Each coloured voucher in front of the picture is a meal or accommodation

The second highlight was me having to ride the bike into the dining room – but I survived!

And I got to bed earlier that night at 2.30!

One of the consultants demonstrated child and neonatal recusitation.

Sunday was spent in a local lodge drinking coffee and watching Liverpool beat Man City!

And due to the imminent arrival of my parents I have worked Monday so I can sneak Thursday off – everyone is off Friday anyway so it kind of works the same!

The other thing that has gone again is the water. So my shower this morning consisted of standing under the hot water as it comes out freezing, get as wet as possible before it gets too hot. Then lathering up with the shower off then jumping back in hoping not to scold myself (when the water is off we have whatever is left in the geyser on the roof - the drawback is it is very very hot!)

And that was the week that was!

STATMAN

Levers in the JCB – 7

Levers played with – 5

Cost of 300 bags of cement – 1.5 million Kwacha

Number of requisitions I sign a day – 20+

Money raised at the auction – 880,000 Kwacha

Price the bike went for – 120,000 (I like to think I had something to do with that)

 Number of days until parents arrive – 1 (they arrive tomorrow)

Number of days they are here – 14 ( I think…..??)