23rd December
nothing was stirring except for the flying termites…
And the giant African land snail in the garden
And the huge centipede that decided to wander through our
kitchen.
So the flying termites come out at about 7 or 8pm and fly
round the lights. They are like the ants only huge and you can hear them
clunking into the walls and doors. In the morning again all you see is a sea of
wings that have fallen off. These are the termites that they eat over here.
Soak in warm water for a few short minutes until the wings fall off. Pat dry
with some kitchen roll, or leave in the sun for a few seconds! Then lightly fry
them with a small drop of oil. Season to taste. I have yet to try them but
apparently they are a delicacy.
The snail was about the same size as a tennis ball. I really
wouldn’t want to accidently step on one of those.
The centipede was just wandering round the house. He looked
fairly chunky (hence the ‘he’) and when I tried to pick him up with the fly
swot he gripped it and started crawling towards the handle. I am only glad Pam
told me they are quite poisonous (not fatal but quite painful) after I had
launched him out the back door. Sorry about the poor photo but pams phone is
playing up so that is a picture of a picture.
So wildlife aside what has happened this week. Well let me
tell you! So Tuesday was a pretty rubbish day. We had heavy rains over the
weekend and a lot of our building work was er, squishy and some had to have
copious amounts of mud and water dealt with. So I left in a pretty deflated
mood. Now on the way home the kids play football all along the streets – but
they use burnt plastic bags and bricks. Seriously get about 5-10 plastic bags
inside each other, tie the last one off and then burnt the handles away, it’s a
pretty good ball. So the bricks are offset from each other and are about two
foot apart. Makes it more interesting when there is only 8 of them playing.
So (where was I?!) on my way home I was walking through one
of these games of football when behind me I heard the crunch of a tackle flying
in. Next thing I know the ball and squirted out straight through my legs and as
I took my next step I caught it and directed it straight into the goal. Well
the street when nuts! Malawians thing everything is highly funny, so much so
that one of my foreman struggled to tell me he was having chicken and rice for
Christmas lunch because such a meal is so funny!? Anyway all the players were
laughing and cheering, the spectators all eight of them were laughing and
cheering, even the man in the stall on the corner cheered, so I took my
applause, made the appropriate celebrations and walked the rest of the way home
with a smile on my face.
Saturday was Christmas day for us. We had roast chicken,
mash potatoes, roast potatoes, carrots, broccoli, cauliflower cheese (soooo
good), bread sauce and Yorkshire puddings. I made us some homemade crackers,
with a manual ‘bang’ and homemade jokes. I could tell you some of them but they
are all Malawi based so erm they would be even less funny!
We also managed to get some Malawians playing twister. One
of them had never seen twister before!
We also had a bit of a gangster moment. So Malawi is a cash
based country, not many shops take cards. So Pam, myself and another volunteer
decided to go and get some cash for our up coming holidays. Not knowing how
much to get we all ventured on better safe than sorry. The issue is the highest
denomination of Kwacha is 1000. Which is about £1.50. So we got out a bit, the
only problem was we put it all in one bag to keep safe. But as we were pulling
out of the parking on the street a traffic warden wandered over to asking for
parking (20p for 1 hour). Pam took the bag to get some money but somehow the
bag was upside down. 400 bank notes fell out into the back of our car. The
traffic warden looked completely bemused, especially when we gave him the
parking money and then drove away very quickly.
It doesn’t feel like Christmas though. There is no hype
here. Only one shop I have seen over the weeks has Christmas decorations in it
and that is the big supermarket. We have very limited fancy food and the nice
stuff is really quite expensive. And as much as I am sure everyone is shivering
and cold at home it is too warm for Christmas.
The other thing to consider is the graph. Apparently,
according to Pam, there is a long term overseas graph of peoples emotions.
Around 2-3 months the novelty wears off and you begin to miss all the things
that make home home. That period is around now so combine that with Christmas and
both missing family and friends it is a bit subdued.
We also got invited to Pam’s bosses for Sunday lunch with a
load of the Doctors from the hospital. And what a lunch it was. To you it will
seem like a normal meal, but to Pam and I it was good old fashion home cooked
fare. A boiled gammon (Nigella’s recipe in coke……takes on a whole new meaning
now) with little fried potatoes, roasted veg, tomato salad, macaroni cheese. It
was a little slice of home.
But now we are officially on Christmas holiday. Currently I
am sitting on the khonde at Dedza Pottery Lodge writing this have made the
three and a half hour journey up the M1. It is better than the UK one for
traffic, but not great for pot holes or lunatic drivers, or stray livestock.
I also got stopped for ‘speeding’. Being just before
Christmas there is a lot of traffic police around. One flags me down and, after
the pleasantries have been exchanged, the conversation when something like
this;
‘You were speeding’
‘no I wasn’t’
‘yes you were you were, we have a camera’ (points to said
camera which I don’t think was on or the man using it knew what he was doing)
‘no I was doing 30’
‘are you sure’
‘absolutely’
‘oh okay then. Thank you’
And off I drove!
So all is left for me to say is that I hope you all have a
very merry Christmas wherever you are – for those of you that we are related to
hopefully we can skype at some point over the festive season!
I am now going to sit in the sun with a cup of tea and read
my book.
STATMAN
Number of crackers made – 12
Chickens consumed – 3
Food left over – about half the veg and none of the meat!
Blantyre to Dedza – 229km
Time taken – 3.5 hrs
Number of bites whilst sitting on the khonde – 4 obviously
dedza mossies find me tastier than the Blantyre ones do
Nights away from people we know – 5 (no offence people we
know but it is nice to get away)
SLEEPS UNTIL CHRISTMAS – ONE!!!
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